No, not a story about barge planking, you'll be amazed to know.
As Haggis starts to slow down into the Autumn of his years, he is ever slower to warm up into a walk, stretching his leg muscles and building up speed. So, for the first 200-300 yards he is seriously slow, and seems to think up ever more curmudgeonly wiles and devious tricks to slow the progress, needing to sniff and pee at every blade of grass and brick gate post. We regularly end up with Dad in the middle of a 30 foot "vehicle" with me stretching out front eager to be ahead, and the H dragging along 15 feet behind.
Slowly, though, he warms up and starts to trot and quarter of a mile in he's ambling along like his old self. We've noticed though, that he never really relaxes and gets comfortable till he's had a few "comfort stops" and done his Number-2's. With the roads we walk at first being paved only one side, this mainly means cocking his left leg and peeing that way, but that's not really enough for Haggis, and he seems to need the chance before he can really relax, to nip up a side turn and spin round so that he can also pee with his right leg cocked. We swear it's almost as if he needs to empty both halves of his bladder.